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    3/31/2009

    春天,十个海子全部复活

     
    醒来的时候不到五点。京城已露出淡淡白光,太阳在高楼间挣扎跳动,光合作用还未正式开始。一切都如一个呼啸而过的清晨,同样是京城,我望着地铁口的大门,微微晕眩。
    步行走向天安门。24小时便利店里温热的咖啡,捧在手心里取暖,直到咖啡和心脏一样失去温度。搭乘空荡荡的公交车,灰蒙蒙的早晨。
    从没想过会来看升旗仪式,从没想过升旗仪式会如此庄重,从没想过我看到国旗冉冉上升的时候严肃得要哭。一切绝不是形式主义那样简单,尽管我无法表达其中的深刻含义。
    随着人群渐渐散场,抬头看看这个没有春天的城市。也许,他仅仅是硬朗,只是我把他想象得过分刻薄。广场上回荡着嘲笑的空鸣:我是一个幸福的人,我再也不会否认。
    回首,满目惊疑。
    我没有看见如期归来的赵先生。我看见海子,在下沉。

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